When you have so much time in your hands and bored, you do weird things... like transcript a portion of the Dexter series episode 5: "Love American Style"
It was funny. Just when I was contemplating on relationships, or rather, the lack thereof... well, romantically speaking, along this series came ^_^ It's amazing how every word, sentence, conversation affects you and relates it to things happening to you.
In case, you're wondering how I am, these excerpts might answer that ^_^
i like to pretend i'm alone. completely alone. maybe post apocalypse or plague. whatever. no one left to act normal for. no need to hide who i really am. it would be freeing.
i'm not the only one who enjoys isolation. my shadowed companion chose this place well. this was his sanctuary, for a while at least. all these people crawling over it, it seems disrespectful.
"Rita: have you ever longed for anything like that?"
she wants something from me. ever since the b**w j*b, she assumes we have taken it to the next level. she doesn't know yet i don't have a next level. it always comes to this once sex is introduced. small talk no longer cuts it. eventually she'll call me a science project, slam the door on my face.
"Rita: i'll go with her. she might need a shoulder"
she sensed i'm not a shoulder. bad sign. she's catching on.
that must be what love looks like. the inability to feel has its advantages... sometimes.
alone. no pretending. no hiding.
normal people dream of this: a new car, a big home, a boat at the reefshore marina, and a beautiful wife. too bad i never enjoyed making someone a widow. or so happy. she has no clue who she's with. maybe that's the key to a successful relationship.
Dexter: your wife, she's probably worrying.
Angel: she don't mind who i flirt with so long as i bring home la passione.
Dexter: la passione.
Angel: ei, it keeps the relationship alive
Dexter: what about communication? trust?
Angel: la passione!
Dexter: what if she wants something more?
Angel: then you reciprocate
Dexter: what if she wants something more emotionally?
Angel: no, don't go down that emotional road. just go down on her. it's easier. she'll be distracted
Harry: dexter, women are different from men. i'm saying they have a whole different experience of things. when they're with someone physically, they feel connected. they know when you're not. they can sense it. you're very exposed
Dexter: yeah, you're naked
Harry: i mean, emotionally. so this is gonna be very dangerous for you
Dexter: i can fake it
Harry: yeah, you can learn to fake a lot of things. this is a tough one
somehow it's reassuring to know that you're not the only one pretending to be normal.
maybe if i dont blink, my eyes will tear up. i hate this. i'm questioning every move, it's exhausting. i should just break it off already. unless i can pacify her, give her something. reciprocate. la passione.
Harry: you must be having fun
Dexter: nah, i pretended to
Harry: that's good, dexter
Dexter: dad? do you think that maybe one day i'll feel it? for real?
Harry: i hope so, son
alone. i'd be better off. relationships are too confusing
incredible. they're even a better match that i thought. a true partnership.
Dexter: i rarely deviate from a plan but i just didn't have the heart to split up such a perfect couple
Mr. Castillo: i love you!
Mrs. Castillo: i love you so much!
Dexter: how do you love each other? you're like me. you make it work. how?
Mr. / Mrs. Castillo: we want the same life
Mrs. Castillo: we want the same thing
Mr. Castillo: the same life
Dexter: you share the same dream
Mr. Castillo: yes, exactly!
Mr. / Mrs. Castillo: yes, that's it!
deviating from the plan may have been ill-advised. but sometimes you just have to take a risk. after all, isn't that what relationships are all about?
Dexter: do u ever dream for your life? your future?
Rita: of course. do you?
Dexter: i sound weird. i want someday to be content. just to feel comfortable like everyone else. i want...
Rita: a normal life
Dexter: yeah, a normal life
Rita: that's all i want. just that
Dexter: no fame or fortune, excitement at every turn
Rita: (laughs) no, i've had enough excitement, thank you. i'll take boring
Dexter: that's weird huh?
Rita: yeah (smiles)