they said real friends are hard to find but i guess i'm really lucky to have found them at each and every corner of my life ^_^ that is why, i'm loving every moment i get to experience ^_^ praise God for such blessings!
I have been away from home for two years now. This is, by far, the longest time I have been away. I always made a point to visit my hometown at least once a year. For some reason, being there refreshes me, re-energize me, keeps me rested. I guess it's that feeling of the times when you were a child, where you are kept safe and protected from the harsh realities of life. That's where my parents' love and care renew me.
Due to some documents issue, what used to be a summer vacation trip to Philippines was just a plan thrown out of the window. And it seems like the December trip will become a figment of our imagination. We are so excited for this trip because we'd be celebrating our 10th year anniversary. How often do you get to celebrate your 10 years? We wish to celebrate it among family and close friends. After all, they have been part of our journey.
I was so homesick spring last year. So homesick that I think I fell into some sort of depression. It came to a point that I was blaming Manong he brought us here. Very selfish thoughts. Very selfish reasons. But I guess that's how depression acts on you. It makes you unreasonable. In the end, he reminded me, we both made that decision; that he wouldn't have come here if I haven't agreed. We did pray for this decision, and we did both say we leave it all up to Him. That brought my feet back on the ground.
Then everything was alright. We had Mama and Tita Lola visit us. A Europe trip! A dream come true! Made us wish for more! It was one of the best times of my life. Praise God for such blessings.
And then winter came. Ah, this darkness. It slowly creeps up on you. Makes your heart heavy. Makes you long for brighter days.
And just when the promise of a summer trip to Philippines became a possibility, they said wait a little bit more. The sun gave a lot of promise. Gave a lot of warmth. It was something fun, but a different kind of fun. It wasn't the kind of warmth that I sought for, that I long for. It wasn't home.
At least, we get to enjoy some new places. But then again, when you are thinking of something else, your heart just can't be there. Your thoughts are miles away. This time, though, the homesickness doesn't pierce right through the heart.
And then more waiting, and waiting...
And now longer nights have started. Darkness slowly creeping in. The feel of numbness. Sometimes you'd wonder, is it better to feel this or the homesickness?
We recently acquired a new place. The selection process was a bit unusual since it was lottery-based; that is, they put your name on queue and upon your number, you then get to choose the house and lot you prefer. We were number 13, and the lot of our choice was in the middle range, price-wise and area-wise.
During the tenth selection, we were already wondering why that lot hasn't been selected yet. We were really glad we got our area of choice but at the back of our heads came the question, why wasn't it popular?
It's a corner lot. It's a bit bigger compared to the regular lots. It's a bit isolated since it's beside some trees and big rocks.
Two months later, you then slowly realize why. Originally, I thought it was the amount of leaves that come into the backyard, especially during the autumn season. I guess that's also a factor. But more than anything, I guess it's because there's not enough sun at the back porch!
Growing up in a tropical country, sun is something that we take for granted. There is even an advisory that you're only supposed to stay under the sun between sunrise and 8AM and later than 4PM, otherwise, the sun can be harmful to your skin. Almost everyone has an umbrella when going around, or stays under the shade to avoid the sun. It was hard-wired in my system to evade the sun as much as possible.
Coming here, it looked strange to me when someone basks under the sun during lunch time. But then, living here for almost four years, you get into that habit, as well. You really feel the sun's heat during summer and only some days in spring.
You then realize, the sun brings warmth and light physically, mentally and emotionally. There is a certain brightness in your life, a feeling of being alive.
It's funny how we look for shades and clouds in Philippines, but here, we look for the glare of the sun. And now that summer is coming, I'm just looking forward for the sun and the warmth!
When I was a kid, I call everyone that is around my parents' age Uncle and Auntie. I'm not sure if this practice is shared among all Filipino cultures, but at least that's how I was brought up.
One normally calls a person Uncle or Auntie, when he is related to your parents - their siblings or cousins. But that address extends to your parents' friends, as well. And for some, they even use that term to address strangers on an informal basis. It's a sign of respect for the elders.
I guess there is always that sense of community among the Filipinos. It's very typical of Filipinos to feel close to someone even if they only met recently. Filipinos use the word "friend" lightly. Acquaintances are friends already.
Ever since I moved to Sweden, I have learned not to treat everyone as friends. It seems here, when you refer someone to as "friend", it means you
have shared a lot of private moments and have been through a lot.
But sometimes you just miss that feeling. That feeling of camaraderie, community. The sense of belongingness. I think that's why when Filipinos get together, they tend to be really loud and rowdy, and crazy at times. I just attended that type of get-together so I'm still a little hung up.
Unfortunately, there are always two sides of a coin. There is always that danger of people becoming too familiar, that they tend to intrude on your personal life. And talk about you. And invade your privacy. That "familiarity" sort of gives one the right to do that.
Most of the Swedes are very private. They only talk about safe topic, safe sentiments. They don't openly discuss their relationships or about their emotions. They have that wall that is very hard to penetrate. You'd think you've shared a bond the day before, then the day after, back goes that wall between you.
Seeing those sides of the coin... There is always a good and a bad to each side. It's just a matter of perspective.
For those of you wondering what the title means - no
more selfies, for we shall take a groupie. It's a line from one of
entries to a Swedish song festival, entitled Groupie by Viktor and
It was pretty popular among the young kids since it has a dance tune to it. Both my sons love dancing to it.
This song always come to mind whenever I browse through my Facebook feed.
Everday, I just don't fail to see selfies taken with faces up close, and
all you see in the picture is the face. Why do you want to document
your face? Is there something special to it?
I don't mind people taking solo pictures, especially when it comes to showing off places they've been, or that they've got nice new clothes on, or even have a funny story behind it. It's actually fun to look at these photos.
just wondered, when someone takes a picture of JUST the face, what does
one really try to show? Makeup? Or how well-maintained your skin is?
not really a selfie person so I can't really relate to what a selfie
means. It's just annoying sometimes to see the same face, day by day,
despite different angles and expression on the face. I came close to
unfollowing people, but I don't want to do that because I still want to
see what they're up to. These are still people of interest to me. After
all, that's why we are friends in Facebook.
It just annoys the hell out of me to see those selfies *shrugs*
Storywise, yeah, it's one of those same old love stories all over again. But the movie is more than that. Great production, loving the musical score, superb actors. No wonder it has garnered a lot of nominations and awards.
The movie was artistically created that it went out of the typical Hollywood film. It gave you a feeling of watching an old movie again, where the background were all just still pictures. At the same time, the movie was set on modern times. It blended both old and new, in that sense.
The musical score gets you through a roller-coaster emotion. It makes you happy, then it makes you sad. And there were moments when it made you sad and happy, all at once. With the setting and music together, it brings on that old movie feel.
More than anything else, it was the actors that brought everything to life. Emma Stone is just amazing. Really charismatic, you just get hooked to her character. Ryan Gosling, on the other hand, depicted very well a guy who has just followed the tides that come his way. Although, I have to admit, this seems a Ryan Gosling typical character for me. Despite me a Ryan Gosling fan, his performance didn't strike me as what can be called awesome. The singing part came as a surprise, though.
Despite the happy tones, the ending scenes emphasized the sense of regret and what-if's. I love the way how they both last looked at each other. It tears your heart apart, but in the end, they let you feel everything's going to be fine. That contrast of emotions put in one scene is what gave the movie the grand finale.
I recommend this movie. It's a 90 for me. I'd say, if you've just broken up, maybe this movie might not be for you.