Thursday, January 18, 2018

Sleeping together or apart?

Watching The Crown, the scene where Elizabeth and Philip went to bed...

Manong commented, "Dili sila tapad? (They don't sleep together?)"

I have often wondered about this arrangement. In the Filipino culture, sleeping apart symbolizes that your marriage is going through a rough time, or worse, is falling apart. Sleeping on the same bed means that you're together.

I wonder which countries, or culture, for that matter, practice sleeping apart? What could be their purpose in having this kind of arrangement?

For Filipinos, aside from that symbolism, I think it's also for practical reasons. Most families cannot afford a big space, so they cramp up as much as possible. Filipino families often have extended families together living in one roof. Some, if not most, couldn't even afford their kids to have their own room.

But there can be a benefit as to sleeping apart; that is, if your quarters can accommodate it. If you share a bed with someone, how often is it that you get to sleep straight and without interruption? Admittedly, you get to do your own stuff, at your own time, and at your own pleasure.

For instance, Manong and I have different sleeping schedules. I often sleep early, like maybe 8 or 9PM, then I wake up around 2AM, then sleep again at 4 or 5AM. Whereas for him, he sleeps really late, like 1 or 2AM.

There were times, though, that I want to sleep without interruption, especially when I just had less than 4 hours of sleep the night before. For some reason, and more often than not, when Manong comes to bed, I become aware or at least be half-awake then. The problem then, is that once my senses are awakened, I have trouble sleeping again.

He couldn't sleep well either, when I'm awake in the middle of the night, since I normally turn on the lamp, even when I'm working on my laptop. My eyes couldn't handle unbalanced light.

On the other hand, there were times when Manong, sleeps later than usual. Or, sometimes doesn't sleep at all and stays in the other room to work. This wakes me up, as well. There's a feeling of coldness and emptiness on the bed that bothers me. So I kept on asking him to sleep, so I can sleep, too. I guess I have gotten used so much with him beside me. After all, we have been sleeping on the same bed for a little over 10 years now.

So, what's the benefit of sleeping apart? And who practices it?

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Placid River

On this placid river
I was lulled to sleep
Half-awake, I wonder
Will I fall in deep?

On this placid river
The slow waves lulled
I open my eyes however
How come my senses were dulled?

On this placid river
I try to steer for shore
Are things as they always were?
Or have I turned a bore?

On this placid river
I frantically tried hard to paddle
How I ended up here, I wonder
Not wanting alone, huddled


When do you say enough is enough?
When do you say I give up?
When do you say I want to move on?
When do you say I want outta here?

Seeing the crossroad ahead
Almost there, but not quite
Looming ahead, like a mirage
You think you see it, but unsure

You just keep on striving
Keep the pace, keep on moving
Sometimes dragging
Yet sometimes skipping

On and on and on
Until you ran out of breath
When you reach that crossroad
The edge of that fork, then decide

Friday, September 15, 2017

A Love Letter

It could have been called
A bad hair day of some sorts
Yet, when you saw me huddled
I felt you just knew what to do

You touched my hair
Tucked it behind my ear
You kissed my cheek
These little things, so sweet

You brought me close
You hugged me tight
You sighed with me;
I'm the luckiest girl alive!

You never left my side
Until you know things are alright
It's these little things that
Makes me love you even more!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Some days

Some days, there are just some days,
When it feels like you've been to war
Trying to be timid when needed
Yet strong when confronted

Coming out, barely alive,
Thought I won, or have I?
Yet the spirit feels more broken,
Torn to pieces, so it seems

Crawling, wanting to rest
Come, sleep, claim me!
Let this tiredness wash away, wash away!
And let me find tomorrow a fresh, new day

Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Home Alone

Home alone
So quiet, so peaceful
It's moments like these
You just void yourself
Restart, take it slow

Ah! What bliss!
Such luxury is only once in a blue moon
Eating my cake with a cup of coffee
The only sound is the boiling
From the rice i'm cooking

Maybe tomorrow it will be the same
Same time, same place
Who knows?
It might only be this moment
And loving this moment

To close one's eyes
And feel the calmness
To breathe in and out
Relaxed, enjoying this
Indeed, such precious moments

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Stars and the buzz

Stars glistening,
These stars in the sky
They glare so bright
Wait! Do they?

They glare, they blur
Distorting the lights
They twist, they stay
Am I just seeing things?

From a distance, I hear a buzz
Slowly increasing; Is it a bee?
Oh I know!
It comes from the stars

But why does it buzz?
A UFO? An alien?
Maybe so, I don't know
I think I'm just drunk