Where do we go from here?

 

"What is Your plan for me, Father?" How often do you ask that? Do you feel neglected when He doesn't answer?

It had been hectic coming back from Stockholm this week. Hectic, and I must admit, a lot of stress lately. I came home exhausted and drained. Then I saw all these dirty dishes in the sink (of course, what do you expect when you leave the kids by themselves), and it's like pushing yourself to finish all these chores and wrap up your day.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed or lost, I tend to ask this question. "What is Your plan for me, Father?" The human that I am, I feel disappointed and discouraged whenever things don't go my way, and then I started asking God why, why, why. I prayed for this job but why is it going like this? I prayed for guidance and yet it feels like I'm going astray.

Today I was reminded about pride, envy, joy, and the intentions of our hearts.

Manong and I joined a Connect Group within our church for the first time. The verse that we reflected upon was 1 Corinthians 4:6-13. It was a rather awkward and strange passage to read. But it hit home.

Pride brings you up high, and brings you down fast and strong. When we have achieved or accomplished something, we tend to look inward, and say, "I did this on my own! I feel so proud!", without thinking that it was possible because of Him. We then forget to be grateful, to praise God for His favors and goodness upon us. Because we relied on our own strength, our faith becomes flaky. 

And because we are proud, whenever we meet someone who exceeds us, it results to envy. A funny story was shared, "There is this girl who thinks her school is the best because they have ice cream every end of the year. But upon hearing a girl from another school, saying their school gives ice cream every week, she suddenly felt bad. She then felt her school sucks."

Why couldn't she be happy for the other girl who gets ice cream every week? Why couldn't we be happy for our fellow who got the acknowledgement, who got the recognition? Or the acquaintance, or friend, who got a raise, who got a new nice bag?

The sufferings that we encounter are often made by our own stubbornness. Our happiness is fleeting because we rely on happenings, rather than being grateful for what we have. Gratefulness gives us joy, no matter the circumstances. And because of this, you become truly happy for others who have more than you.

The discussion reminded me how it is to be surrounded by people whom you can be open about, and without judgement. And it helped me to reflect what I've been going through this past week. Happy, that He always steers me in the right direction whenever I start drifting away from where I'm supposed to be.