The Gender Gap - Thoughts of Motherhood, Careers and General Well-being

I came across this article while reading an email blast from Ingenjören

Så påverkar föräldraledigheten kvinnors forskarkarriär

Translating to English, what this article talks about is how parental leaves affect women's research career. I was really curious about this since Sweden is known for its gender equality culture. Even so, I've still read articles about salary and parental leaves inequality. There is even a rule that fathers are reserved three months of the parental leaves and cannot transfer these to the other parent.

Although the study focuses mainly within the research community, this seems to also happen within other industries. As per the article, women has been found to have their productivity reduced by a third after becoming a parent, while men might experience the same on the first few months after the birth, would eventually regain their momentum thereafter. Parental leaves play a big factor, as well as, the role of a woman in a family.

I could definitely attest to this when it comes to Filipino culture. Men are breadwinners while women are homemakers. Women had to make sacrifices for their careers just to be able to hold the family together. With house help getting harder to find, it is very common for mothers to stop working to raise the kids. This is typically expected of women, without questions asked. 

The Filipino society is strongly patriarchal. Men tend to dominate, and women are often docile in most relationships. Successful working mothers need to pull a lot to be able to climb the ladder, and at the same time play the expected mother role to the family.

On the other hand, Sweden has a different culture. Both husband and wife work because there is a daycare that takes care of the kids. There is even a night "daycare" for parents that are working during nights. The cost is subsidised by the government, and is per income bracket to ensure everyone can accommodate this service. Despite all these benefits, there are still studies showing women experiencing life disadvantages.

I recently attended a women's network talk in my current company, and the topic was "Ready to Grow". In that talk, the speaker pointed out that men are often very clear and distinct about what they want but women have the tendency to keep mum about their wants and needs. She also pointed that it's a myth that women are good at multitasking. Nobody is, period. It's just women have these habits of sorting things out, so they clean up after the mess, or helping out where one thinks is needed, etc. But then you should also realize, you have things that you need to finish. Keep in mind that when you say yes to other things, you are saying no to other ones.

And there are factors about hormone changes and menopause which also leads to stress and anxiety in women. I also came across an article where more and more women experience burnout as opposed to men. This is also due to the same factors, parenthood plus work. Oh, and mind you, there might be a male andropause but it's effect is not as drastic as that of the women's menopause. So, technically, andropause is a myth 😀

At the end of these reflections, I am reminded how strong women are. That's really something to appreciate. At times I feel like I'm an under achiever but then realize, I under achieve in one thing because I am also juggling another thing.

Men also need to understand their role when it comes to family and parenthood. Women should help their partners understand how they can help, and not bottle it all up inside (an advice that applies to myself 😅). We are all made equal, and we need to fight for our space.